Touching, what a wonderful way to show that you care, that you are not afraid, that you like someone, that you are aware of their existance, that you are paying attention to them, that you want to share something with them. In this section of the Conservatory, I want to share some ideas for touching. So many people have a problem with touching and being touched.

Train your self to touch, and also relax and receive the touches that are offered.

First we must set up a few ground rules.

Never show reluctance to touch your Spouse

Never flinch when your spouse touches you

Never strike your spouse in any way, for any reason

Be gentle, the gentler the better

First and formost, THE HUG!! When was that last time you gave your spouse a hug. Just for no particular reason, just gave them a hug. A hug has many benefits. The giver and the receiver both share the warmth and comfort of the hug. It also tends to slow your heart rate, sooth the nerves and give you a boost all at the same time. And what does it cost you. A minute, 2 minutes if you get carried away!! Believe me, you will both feel better for the experience.

Gentlemen, this one is all yours. Have you ever brushed your wife's hair, run your fingers through it, played with it? The touch of your fingers in her hair is extremely soothing and relaxing to about 95% of the female side of the human race. She might be a little suprised the first time you try it, but believe me, she will love it.

How about a back rub. After a hard day nothing feels better than to just have someone rub your back for you. I don't mean to do it so gentle that it tickles, or so hard that it hurts, just a soft circular motion that relaxes and helps your spouse to unwind.

A foot massage is a wonderful way to show you care. Make sure your hands are warm and that you use a firm touch, no tickling is permitted for this. Imagine you are enclosing your spouses foot in warm socks. Use your thumbs to work out all the soreness around the balls of his/her feet and up into the arch, but be very careful not to hurt them, massage firmly but do not push hard. Remember, their feet probably already hurt. You want to make them feel better, not worse.

Hold Hands. When was the last time you held hands as you walked down the street or through the mall or when you sat in the movie theater. It is a simple, easy way to make a connection with the one person in the world you are the closest to.

One of my personal favorites is to reach over and rub Shining Knight's neck when we are riding in the car. He seems to enjoy it and it helps to relax him during a long (or even a short) drive.

Just a stroke along the cheek or down the arm conveys the feeling that you are cherished. Try it the next time you pass your spouse in the hallway, just reach out and stroke your finger down his cheek or down her arm. Be sure the stroke is gentle and leave them wanting more.

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